you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Randomize
