there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
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