Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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