They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
