He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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