I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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