I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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