a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
