i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
