What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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