i don't like sucking hair
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
the liver wants what the liver wants
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I am naked and annoyed.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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