Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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