btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
My ATM looks so different sober.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Randomize
