I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Randomize
