hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
