He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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