So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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