you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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