can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
I just gift wrapped bread.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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