Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
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