Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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