i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
Do vagina's smell?
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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