He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize