He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
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