So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
