Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
