Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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