He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
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