He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Swine flu is the new snow day.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
