Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
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