I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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