Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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