So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Randomize
