I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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