You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Just pee around me
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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