Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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