.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
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