it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
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