guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
