I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
