that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
Randomize
