I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
