you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
