3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
