thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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