Ambien. No doubt about it.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
