It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
