ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
