i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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