she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
How do you say, "I love you, but i prefer sex with someone else." in a good way? Ponder that over a jack and coke and get back to me.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Shame is for Republicans.
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