I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Randomize