Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
The sex toys I ordered are being shipped to my billing address instead of shipping address. Take a guess where they're on their way to right now - my parents' house. And the package has to be signed for so there's no way around it. Fuck.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
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