Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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