For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I'm bleeding and have questions
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
