ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
