i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Randomize