"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
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