Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I am available for nakedness
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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