i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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