Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
