i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
So much rum. So many feels.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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