Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
it was like eating out sand paper
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
