Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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