Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
