I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
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