wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
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