I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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