so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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