im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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