no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
